Random thoughts and jokes

Antworten

• WO

  

  womannudista

  Nov 22, 2012

  [quote][quote]I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
  
  
  
  
  [/quote][img src="http://randomshortjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/chicken-crossing-the-road-pun.jpg">[/quote]jajajaja! very good joke!

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Nov 24, 2012

  When my ex told me when she dies I could have her farm including the villa, the tractor, the farmhouse & all the livestock. I was really surprised. When I asked, "Where is it?"
  She replied, "On Facebook."
  
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Nov 25, 2012

  I was reporting a near Hit-and-Run to the responding officer.
  I told him the driver was my mother-in-law.
  He asked if I had actually seen her,
  I said, "No, but I recognized the laugh."
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Nov 28, 2012

  I’ve always lived the same as I type: Fast and with lots of misteekes.
  

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• WO

  

  womannudista

  Nov 29, 2012

  [quote]When my ex told me when she dies I could have her farm including the villa, the tractor, the farmhouse & all the livestock. I was really surprised. When I asked, "Where is it?"
  She replied, "On Facebook."
  
  [/quote]jajajajajajajjaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 1, 2012

  I was having trouble sleeping. My doctor said I should drink a glass of warm milk before going to bed and never take my troubles to bed with me. But my wife refused to sleep alone.
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Dec 1, 2012

  My wife said " Dodn't come home drunk "  So I didn't go home.

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 1, 2012

  "Jesus Loves You" might be a good thing to hear......
  unless you are in a Mexican prison.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 2, 2012

  When I told my ex, "Business has been great this year, what would you like for Christmas?" She replied, "I would really like a divorce."  I told her I wasn't really planning on spending that much.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 3, 2012

  My ex would cook dinner occasionally, I guess I shouldn't have irritated her by saying grace for 45 minutes.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 5, 2012

  My ex was really pissed when I dumped her; she keyed the bus I took to work.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 6, 2012

  I’ve just about decided I need a wife...I just haven't decided whose yet.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 7, 2012

  I was asked recently what I did during the Sexual Revolution; I hated to admit it, but I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes.
  
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 7, 2012

  I was having a fling with a woman from Finland. At least I thought she  was from Finland, but when we were making love and she kept saying, "I'm not finnish, I'm not finnish."
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 8, 2012

  Dawn IS great.  But, have you tried Eve?
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 8, 2012

  My ex had a bumper sticker that read, “Honk if you love peace and quiet”
  

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• WO

  

  womannudista

  Dec 9, 2012

  [quote]I’ve just about decided I need a wife...I just haven't decided whose yet.
  [/quote]made me laugh a lot this joke
  
  me ha hecho reir muchisimo este chiste

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 9, 2012

  I chose the path less traveled, but only because I was lost.
  

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• BI

  

  BitFlipperBob

  Dec 9, 2012

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 10, 2012

  One evening while I was cooking I asked my ex where she kept all the spices.
  She said, "In the salt shaker."
  
  

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• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Dec 10, 2012

  [quote]One evening while I was cooking I asked my ex where she kept all the spices.
  She said, "In the salt shaker.[/quote]You never said she was a blonde.

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 10, 2012

  My ex's appearance took all by surprise,
  For her hair had succumbed to some dyes.
  Her lush tresses, once red,
  Were now turquoise instead.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 14, 2012

  My ex was unhappy whenever I went to the supermarket to pick up something.
  Not just single mom’s but, nannies, aunts and a couple of very doable grandmas.
  

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• TH

  

  thomasstierneyUrsprünglicher Verfasser

  Dec 14, 2012

  The un-armed anti-gun nut, should not piss off the well-armed gun nut.
  

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