TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
ReaccionarResponderSuscribirse
Respuestas
- WO
Nov 22, 2012[quote][quote]I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
[/quote][img src="http://randomshortjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/chicken-crossing-the-road-pun.jpg">[/quote]jajajaja! very good joke!ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalNov 24, 2012When my ex told me when she dies I could have her farm including the villa, the tractor, the farmhouse & all the livestock. I was really surprised. When I asked, "Where is it?"
She replied, "On Facebook."ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalNov 25, 2012I was reporting a near Hit-and-Run to the responding officer.
I told him the driver was my mother-in-law.
He asked if I had actually seen her,
I said, "No, but I recognized the laugh."ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalNov 28, 2012I’ve always lived the same as I type: Fast and with lots of misteekes.ReaccionarResponder
- WONov 29, 2012[quote]When my ex told me when she dies I could have her farm including the villa, the tractor, the farmhouse & all the livestock. I was really surprised. When I asked, "Where is it?"
She replied, "On Facebook."
[/quote]jajajajajajajjaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 1, 2012I was having trouble sleeping. My doctor said I should drink a glass of warm milk before going to bed and never take my troubles to bed with me. But my wife refused to sleep alone.ReaccionarResponder
- MA
Dec 1, 2012My wife said " Dodn't come home drunk " So I didn't go home.ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 1, 2012"Jesus Loves You" might be a good thing to hear......
unless you are in a Mexican prison.ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 2, 2012When I told my ex, "Business has been great this year, what would you like for Christmas?" She replied, "I would really like a divorce." I told her I wasn't really planning on spending that much.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 3, 2012My ex would cook dinner occasionally, I guess I shouldn't have irritated her by saying grace for 45 minutes.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 5, 2012My ex was really pissed when I dumped her; she keyed the bus I took to work.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 6, 2012I’ve just about decided I need a wife...I just haven't decided whose yet.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 7, 2012I was asked recently what I did during the Sexual Revolution; I hated to admit it, but I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes.ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 7, 2012I was having a fling with a woman from Finland. At least I thought she was from Finland, but when we were making love and she kept saying, "I'm not finnish, I'm not finnish."ReaccionarResponder
- THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 8, 2012My ex had a bumper sticker that read, “Honk if you love peace and quietâ€ReaccionarResponder
- WODec 9, 2012[quote]I’ve just about decided I need a wife...I just haven't decided whose yet.
[/quote]made me laugh a lot this joke
me ha hecho reir muchisimo este chisteReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 9, 2012I chose the path less traveled, but only because I was lost.ReaccionarResponder
- BI
Dec 9, 2012ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 10, 2012One evening while I was cooking I asked my ex where she kept all the spices.
She said, "In the salt shaker."ReaccionarResponder - MADec 10, 2012[quote]One evening while I was cooking I asked my ex where she kept all the spices.
She said, "In the salt shaker.[/quote]You never said she was a blonde.ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 10, 2012My ex's appearance took all by surprise,
For her hair had succumbed to some dyes.
Her lush tresses, once red,
Were now turquoise instead.ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 14, 2012My ex was unhappy whenever I went to the supermarket to pick up something.
Not just single mom’s but, nannies, aunts and a couple of very doable grandmas.ReaccionarResponder - THthomasstierneyAutor originalDec 14, 2012The un-armed anti-gun nut, should not piss off the well-armed gun nut.ReaccionarResponder