Random thoughts and jokes - Humor and Fun em True Nudists

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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Respostas

MA
ManOfWicklow
May 5, 2013
Ham and eggs: A dayâ€™s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

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thomasstierneyAutor original
May 5, 2013
Where ever you go, there you are.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 5, 2013
The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 6, 2013
Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 6, 2013
My wife and I divorced over religious differencesâ€¦..She thought she was God and I didnâ€™t.

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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 6, 2013
My ex bought expensive negligees at Victoria's Secret to wear at night to spice up our sex life.
I had a better idea I went to Home Depot and bought a dimmer switch.

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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 7, 2013
Once upon a time I got down on one knee to propose, she said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 8, 2013
My wife said she wanted more freedom. I fitted a longer leash on her.
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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 8, 2013
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those that got there first.
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ManOfWicklow
May 8, 2013
The early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 9, 2013
If it cannot be said with one line, the idea is too complex for my poor brain.
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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 9, 2013
I keep adjusting the brightness control on my TV, but it's still as stupid as ever.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 9, 2013
Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?
A: Grey Hair

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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 9, 2013
The sure way to be cheated is to think ones self more cunning than others.
~ Franois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 10, 2013
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 10, 2013
Why a Ponzi Scheme works."If pigeons are getting fed, they aren't picky about who's feeding them."
~ Tom Hale Cat Sitter Among The Pigeons By Blaize Clement
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 10, 2013
Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason now I have a reason.
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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 10, 2013
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
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ManOfWicklow
May 11, 2013
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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thomasstierneyAutor original
May 11, 2013
Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn't show it off.
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ManOfWicklow
May 11, 2013
Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
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thomasstierneyAutor original
May 12, 2013
My reality check bounced.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
May 12, 2013
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

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TH
thomasstierneyAutor original
May 12, 2013
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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