Random thoughts and jokes - Humor and Fun on True Nudists

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 23, 2012
My ex was gossiping on the phone, when I overheard her say, "My sister is frigid."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "No, she isn't."
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 24, 2012
My ex said, "Tom, you're the best friend I've ever had."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "You're near the top of my list hon."

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ManOfWicklow
Sep 24, 2012
All men should have at least two wives. That way you will have them always competing against each other to be the best wife.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 24, 2012
NO NO NO - Don't you see the flaw in your plan? Two Mothers In Law.
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ManOfWicklow
Sep 24, 2012
I never thought about that, I shall have to let one of them down gently. I'm glad I did'nt have three of them.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 25, 2012
Today I was walking up a long flight of stairs. I had to stop at the midway point to rest for a while and forgot if I were going up or down.
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ManOfWicklow
Sep 25, 2012
I was on the bed with a young woman the other day, and I could not remember if I was about to start, or had already finished. I'ts no wonder I feel so tired.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 26, 2012
Today I talked self out of a speeding ticket by telling the CHP I had to get home before I forgot where I was going!
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ManOfWicklow
Sep 26, 2012
A patrol car pulled me over and I told the officer I was only speeding to prevent an accident. I had to do 140 mph to stop him from running into the back of me.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 26, 2012
A cop stopped me for speeding, he claimed I was trying to out run him. I told him my wife had run away with a cop, when I saw him in my rear view mirror I was afraid he was bringing her back. He let me go.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 26, 2012
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
~ John Gotti
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 27, 2012
One night I was out drinking with Superman, he was being a smart ass and wrote on the bathroom wall:
"Batman is a wimp."
The next day, Batman wrote:
"Superman is Clark Kent." That'll teach him.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 28, 2012
I started a relationship with a blind woman. The sex is amazing---but also very challenging---it took me ages to get her husband's voice just right.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Sep 29, 2012
I just thought of something. I have never heard man whine about balancing marriage and a career.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 1, 2012
October First means a lot to me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife.
I'll never forget that poker game.
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ManOfWicklow
Oct 1, 2012
[quote]October First means a lot to me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife.
I'll never forget that poker game.
[/quote]There was no need to shoot the guy when he brought her back two days later.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 1, 2012
When somebody wins the pot they cannot bring back a dirty used pot.
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 2, 2012
I was on a first date with a local barmaid
I asked her if she used oral contraceptives.
She said, "Oh, no! Don't tell me you can get pregnant THAT way!"
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 4, 2012
My ex and I were at a local night club one night and she kept staring at a drunk sitting at the end of the bar. I asked her if she knew him.
"Yes," she sighed, "I use to date him. We broke up about seven years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "You wouldn't think a person could go on celebrating that long."
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 4, 2012
The first debate is over. The hot air has passed. Cooler weather is here. Coincidence?
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 6, 2012
My ex and I were going on vacation; she refused to fly on Virgin.
She said, "I don't want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 9, 2012
If there was a 'Bi-Sexual Pride' parade, would it go both ways?
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ManOfWicklow
Oct 9, 2012

[img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_wTKEFIKSrvg/Sw0Fb-43j9I/AAAAAAAAO0Q/nTNSjnbQL4M/s400/love.jpg">
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thomasstierneyOriginal Poster
Oct 10, 2012
My ex was telling me about a study that found women gain weight after they get married, but men gain weight after a divorce. I started to say something, but she stopped me and said, "One word and we will see if the second half of the study is correct."

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