So if someone wants to describe their sexual encounters as 'bi' then that's their call, not anyone else's.Exactly why should feel the need define someone elses sexual orientation or gender identity for them and why should it matter
One, I am a researcher who works in this area and a community member. One more time, this wasn't about singling out 'a' person but talking about the way language is used. We don't unfortunately have absolute power over word meaning. Language is a collective effort and the meaning of a word is primarily defined by what the group says it means. Science is even more precise in how it seeks to define. So while I am absolutely supportive of self discovery and growth, I don't need to agree that it's good to self define in any way possible and that is that. It just isn't true.
Let's try to separate two things.
First thing: Labels for sexual episodes.
The OP began by talking about the label applied to a particular sexual encounter, specifically references by mostly straight-identified, bi-curious, etc. men to having "bi" sex, by which they mean sex with men. And yes, this gets said a lot. I notice it, and share the OP's sense that there's something a little off about it.
Second thing: Labels for people.
A person may identify - label - themselves pretty much as they want, which is why the LBT--etc list of initials keeps getting longer.
I identify as gay because I'm married to a man, in a committed relationship, and because I move socially in the gay community. I suppose in a clinical sense I'm bi, but to say so would make it seem as if I were looking for sex with women, which I am not. (Note the "committed relationship" bit, above.) If I were to have sex with a man, that would be gay (or to be really careful, homosexual) sex. If I were to have sex with a woman, that would be straight (or to be really careful, heterosexual) sex. And the same exact thing is true for a person who labels themselves as straight, or bi, or whatever. Whenever two conventionally gendered beings have sex, it's either heterosexual or homosexual, in common English straight or gay. Period. There really isn't such a thing as bi sex between two such people.
So when a guy talks about having "bi" sex, meaning sex with another guy, yeah, he's dodging the use of the words "gay" and "homosexual," and gay guys really notice the evasion.
No, it doesn't. Labels applied to people are never absolute, because people are more complicated than any label can ever pin down: a vegetarian can eat meat, a Catholic can use birth control, a pacifist can hit somebody, a straight person can have a same-sex encounter, a Republican can vote for a Democrat. But all those labels may still be the best fit for the people involved.
If a lifelong Vegetarian succumbs to temptation and eats a hamburger does that mean he must now call himself a Carnivore?
It depends on whether or not the carrot salad was actually sausage.
The post isn't about the statistical outliers nor one person. Individuals can and do call themselves anything they please.
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