Why all the need for labels, straight sex, gay sex, bi sex. In the end you are having sex with the partner if your choice, that is all. It is sex, irrespective of your gender or their gender.I acknowledge the desire for terms such as gay, bi, straight etc in terms of sexuality but when it comes to sex then it is sex full stop. No need to label it.
Here's my issue, and please, you be you, and don't stop.... please. The labels still make some of us criminals in US states, and in some countries, carry the death penalty. You're not going to be thrown out of the house in your teens for being str8 in most cases but I can tell you what happens to many men and women who are caught in same sex acts. This isn't desire, it's oppression. No one wants to get thrown out of home, or hung, or put in jail for having sex. If it's just sex, why isn't it just sex in these cases? And is it going to get better by taking away the labels? I mean, don't use them if you don't want to, but other people may have a reason. Mine are less and less important to me, but they used to be. The world of freedom and fluidity this ideology describes doesn't exist, except in a very limited fashion. Words have meaning. You have a name. Why bother? Isn't that a label (for some people, sexuality or gender expression is more important than their name)? Or are people not bottles or boxes and are identities not actually ingredients? And you're going to find that most people are not really just ignoring the gender of their partner, or their own, or even not caring about it. If you can, go for it, I guess I am halfway there... here's the thing. If it is a private act, then let it be private, and without any outside definition (as would be right), but when we self declare in public we're doing it for any number of reasons. That act isn't simply one of choosing a colour out of many. It's political, it's personal, it's powerful or disempowering, it communicates and it invites scrutiny. Not possible for most people to just drop it and leave it and is it really going to be good for everyone if we do, or does it perhaps privilege some and not others?
As a world, we have a long way to go before we embrace tolerance and ditch these old-fashioned attitudes.
There you go. Dreaming again. All I can say is that we seem to be approaching that ideal world, with baby steps. There have been setbacks, with religious fundamentalists trying to drag us back to medieval times, but still and all, we're closer to that world than we were five hundred years ago.
To be honest, I'm not sure what I am in terms of sexuality (think that's spelt but hey) My wife claims to be straight but she's Polish and I think she's afraid to come out as the Polish are very hostile towards anything that isn't, well, Polish. Me, I think I'm very curious, bi curious whatever that means. Shouldn't it be gay curious?
Looking back on this post that started a year ago, I realize I was stupid in not getting the OP's point that sex can either be either homosexual/gay or heterosexual/straight depending on the gender of the two individuals. I believe my block came from confusing behavior and identity which is a result of how emotionally loaded sexual terms are in society. I call myself right handed but have no qualms picking up something witih my left hand withhout challenging the right handed identity. Why? Because there's no dominant hand phobia in my society, but there is homophobia. In that way, I respect the OP's point to call sexual behavior for what they are: gay or straight.
Identfinying people with sexual pronouns is something I have a harder time with. I accept other's definition of themselves even as I question the need for them. I prefer to think of men's sexuality in a broader context: masculine. My definition of masculine doesn't have a spectrum, a macho scale or body hair count. It stems from having external gentalia, whereas women's is internal. In this regard I see men's sexuality and by extension as primarily externalized, whereas a woman's is more internalized. This is not absolute, for men and women have aspects of both.
This view makes me consider sexuality a social construct, though I am still evolving in seeing gender as fluid. which is a separate issue. I recognize some men are truly bisexual in their attraction or ambidexterous in their hand coordination. Outside of the realms of gender fluidity, I accept that sex as an act is either heterosexual/straight or homosexual/gay. However, with my view sexuality as a spirit, and by extension an identity, fails to be confined to silos or labels. I'll respect it all for what it is: a gift of something greater then me, from a higher power called God and many other names, and it's all good.
I get the OP's point that sex is either straight or gay depending on the gender of the partner. Sexuality is something different. A straight person will only want sex with the opposite gender and a gay person will want it with their own gender. A Bi person wants both. My mantra is "why cut out half the population when I can be friendly with everyone?"
There is no such thing as "the gay lifestyle". There is no style of living that is exclusively gay. There are "swingers" gay and straight - there are traditional families both gay and straight. There are gay and straight nudists and all the rest.
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