Hi to couples out there that might read this.
When I read profiles of couples I notice that many state that one is bisexual and other straight. So how does that work? Does one continue to enjoy same sex liaisons in private? Openly with consent? Do you enjoy together?
Im bi but my partner is straight and is against the idea of two guys together. So out of respect I have kept the two areas of sexuality apart.
How does it work for you ?
I'm gay, my ex was bi. We were monagamous.
Sexuality and preferred relationship model are two different things. Monosexual people can have non monogamous relationships, bisexual people can have monagamous relationships, whatever works for the people involved.
That being said, I wouldn't date someone who's against the idea of two guys together (or any other combination of genders)
Hi to couples out there that might read this.When I read profiles of couples I notice that many state that one is bisexual and other straight. So how does that work? Does one continue to enjoy same sex liaisons in private? Openly with consent? Do you enjoy together?Im bi but my partner is straight and is against the idea of two guys together. So out of respect I have kept the two areas of sexuality apart.How does it work for you ?
I guess it depends on whether you are in a monogamous relationship. If you are, then what difference does it make if one of you is bi? No different to staying monogamous if you are both straight, gay or whatever.
I have a friend who is bisexual. His wife is aware and totally open to having me in their home for him to play with. She knows he has a desire to be with another guy and she would rather him do it in front of her rather than in secret. Sometimes she will go out for the evening and leave us alone, other times she stays home and leaves the bedroom for us. Occasionally she will even sit in the bedroom reading a book while we play in the bed.
Thank you for your replies.
Yes I understand if youre in a monogamous relationship that what does it matter, but if you enjoy same sex activity is one not true to themselves if they dont pursue those desires?
Yes youre lucky guys that the ladies in your life except and encourage.
Yes I understand if youre in a monogamous relationship that what does it matter, but if you enjoy same sex activity is one not true to themselves if they dont pursue those desires.
But isnt being part of a monogamous relationship that you knowingly forego sexual activity outside that relationship? Whether it is with someone of the same sex as your partner or the opposite sex, Bisexuality doesnt change that commitment.
If you are male and in a monogamous heterosexual relationship and go and have sex with a woman then that is considered cheating. I dont see the difference if you go off and have sex with a man behind your partners back. Being true to yourself to justify it is just a pretty thin excuse, supposed you are married to a brunette but have always had a thing for red heads. Is it justification to occasionally go off with a red head because you are being true to yourself?
I am not passing moral judgement on monogamous/open relationships, straight/gay/bi sexuality. Each to his own and their choice, sexuality etc should be respected. But being true to yourself and your partner is being open and having the discussion. Not going behind their back and having a secret life.
This thread reminds me of a radio interview I heard. The person who was interviewed was a Roman Catholic priest who came out as gay and was facing being kicked out of the priesthood for that. His argument was that, like all the heterosexual priests, he'd taken a vow of chastity and and wasn't going to go back on that vow. He just wanted to be treated like any heterosexual priest who'd taken the same vow.
He asserted that he had known he was gay all along, and that he was going to secretly identify as gay even when he went into the priesthood. He didn't think it was a big deal. If he had taken a vow of chastity and been true to it, it shouldn't have made a difference whether he was gay or straight.
I thought he was right. And I don't know whether he got kicked out. That was many years ago, and I think the current Pope would be more sympathetic to his cause.
Monogomy is a strange beast. In terms of conceiving and raising children, I believe it's best for nuclear families to stay together if they're functional and harmonious. After that things often fall apart. People change, and it's hard to change together and not grow apart regardless of any orientation issues.
I also think that relationship language and assumptions to be examined closer. We speak of being "faithful," but this only seems to apply to sexual proclivities. What about faithfulness to honesty and truth? Or how about cheating on a partner by manipulating their resources of time and money to one's favor? It seems like people avoid the hard work of monogomy by readily shifting the focus to pronouned sexuality. After all, it's easier to call an ex bi than to own the erosion of trust and emotional intimacy.
Perhaps we're better off setting realistic expectations for a "life stage" partner than a life partner. I'm reminded of a quote by Oscar Wilde: "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogomy is the same."