Being seen / recognized
New here and new to naturism. I have attended a couple events in my hometown and I am finding so much freedom in just being my nakedest self and not having to cover myself up.
I have a nagging anxiety that I am noticing, which is why Im posting here to get some feedback. I made my way to this community after accidentally finding my boss on this website. I never shared with them that I know they are a nudist and I dont plan to after learning about the rules of respect for anonymity and others privacy.
My anxiety is less about having found my boss (though thats there too), but more about whether it means I will likely be found out.
I guess Im wondering:
1. Can I expect that I will have colleagues and other people from my life find out that I am a nudist?
2. Will I get to a point where I dont care about being found out? Will the idea that a textile that I know sees me nude eventually not phase me?
3. Is it possible that my boss is comfortable with who he is and would not be phased if I shared that I found him and that I, too, am exploring?
The etiquette is new territory and both seems intuitive but also not?
A point about the boss, who has a profile on this website. My own profile is quite open about who I am, and I don't put things up that I would be embarrassed about if they were seen by people I know. It has happened that I've seen people on here I didn't know were official nudists - and they, of course, have seen me. At that point it's more or less like seeing someone you know at a resort; it's perfectly OK for one or the other of you to say hi; there's no reason to pretend the other person is not there.
Right now the power differential between you and your boss is not the only asymmetry. Your profile is fairly anonymous; boss's is apparently not. If you were to put up enough info, and a face pic, to make clear you're not trying to hide your identity, then it will feel more natural to acknowledge one anothers' presence. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP NUDE PHOTOS TO PARTICIPATE ON THIS SITE, and that's not what I mean to suggest. Granted, for a lot of people it's all about the pics, but don't let people press you on that one.
I believe the fear that many nudists have of being discovered is entirely irrational. Although a few people probably have been ostracized because to their nudism, I suspect the number is microscopic. You would be better to worry about being struck by lightning. Have you ever actually known of a case where it has happened, I didn't think so. This is not an issue that many people care about. Stop worrying, go out and enjoy yourself.
I appreciate this reply and for recognizing the power dynamics that youve noted!
I also appreciate the note on posting photos vs not. At this time, I feel more comfortable with in person events because then at least I know who he seem me. TN helps me find friends and gatherings :)
60 yr old male here. As for what others will think: the sooner we all learn that " others" don't think as much about our lives one way or the other as we give them credit for doing the better off our mental health will be. As for myself I have been very open since my 30s that I enjoy going bare. Bosses and coworkers, friends, even fellow church members have known for years and never condemned me. We are doing nothing wrong and should not be ashamed or apologize for wanting to go bare when we can.
she_free is asking a good question.
She certainly would not want to embarrass the boss.
At the same time, if she and the boss share a unique interest, she would not want it to look like she is getting special treatment.
Some of us have good reasons to be cautious.
I think it may be best to wait and see if you happen to meet somewhere, unless the topic comes up and you feel comfortable mentioning your involvement. The minefield of boss/subordinate and male/female relationships probably leave you uncomfortable to raise the topic dirctly and he might feel the same in a reverse situation. If he mentions it in a general context in a group, perhaps then you could bring it up with him at an opportunity you feel comfortable with.
I think there are two parts to the answer.
The easy one. Anyone who recognises you at nude events will be there because they are a nudist too. So there is no reason to worry. Take it as a positive opportunity to expand your naturist friends.
On the online bit then I think you have to acknowledge that far from everyone on this site is here because they are genuine naturists. Although few are probably out to cause trouble for other people, just on here for their own kicks. So if being recognised on here worries you then keep your profile pretty anonymous, give details but nothing that really identifies you. If you post photos limit access to certified friends. Only accept friend requests from people you have exchanged messages with and yiu are confident in. In other words sensible social media behaviour.
I believe your anxiety is completely rational and normal. IMHO this means around 66% of us felt this way when starting out.
Anxiety can be escalated by some environmental factor such as:
Legality in your location (nb its illegal where I live)
Fear of losing employment (seems to have happened to me); and
Other cultural 'norms' (for example my parents believe that nudists are crazies - which is ironic because it was this attitude by my parents that spiked my curiosity).
Once the 'brave pills' have been taken a few times (eg on a legal beach) you will tend to be more relaxed in other environs and locations. In fact it will go the other way - you will try and maximise your nude time.
Enjoy your new found freedom!