RE: Random thoughts and jokesMy Ex was going away for a few days and left me a list of chores. For fun, she put down as Item 5: "Think about your wife a lot." After she returned, I reported that I had completed every job.
When she looked over the list, she noticed, each item EXCEPT No. 5 had been crossed off.
"What's this?" She yelled. "Didn't you think about me while I was gone?"
Thinking fast I replied cheerfully, "I started to, but just never finished."
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Post #573ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesEvening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI told my ex that she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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Post #575ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesNever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesIf you mix flour, water and salt you get glue.
If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake.
Where does the glue go?
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Post #577ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesGood girls are bad girls that never get caught.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesLast night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself - "Where the hell is the ceiling???"
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Post #579ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesWhy is it called tourist season if we cant shoot them?
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesSome days I just don't have enough middle fingers for those that deserve it.
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Post #581ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesI like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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